Hello interns, executives, and everything in between! Happy Monday!
Let’s get down to brass tacks. Y’all want the awards. Y’all are frothing at the mouth to get these awards. Well, you know what? You can’t have em.
You must earn them.
Business is all about hard work. If you aren’t waking up at 4AM to throw a laptop at your infant child, you aren’t thriving.
okay but here they are.
TROPHEEEEEEEZZZZZ
Our social climber…. rrraksamam! has been making waves in the industry using his ‘angry and mildly offensive stream of thought’ approach, first pioneered by basically every high-level business man since the dawn of time. this angry former senior manager has made a big name for himself, with multiple social climber awards in recent months. Let’s see if he can keep it up!
In 2nd place… THAT secretary. She’s been a runner-up a bunch in recent weeks, which has gotta be rough cuz we all know she wants to be on top. She’s said it a bunch, if i recall. In 3rd, Baimler Denz Nuuk.
other shrimps in the shrimp salad of regional sales: Josh Casagrande is starting a new project! White NFL Owner has strong opinions (also super stoked this character seems ripe). Simon “Liberator” Bolivar is also now here—that could be interesting.
HARDEST WORKER: having some weird tracking issues with work but rest assured—while the system is broken we are working hard to protect the assets of those who rose to the top of the broken system. they deserve it! they work so hard! they being BAIN WOOO YEAH BAIN IS NUMBER ONE, BABY!
AD ZONE LETS RIDE
no ads this week lets get on that but in the mean time heres a real ad quiznos did
netwerkin’ goblin
in old english goblin was spelled gobline isn’t that weird? anyways Duke Slime Esq. has been shaking hands and kissin’ babies on his way to the top. absolutely majestic
hottttest profile youch!
listen… we all know how THAT secretary is a certified baddie. and on this particular week we reward it with the HOTTES TPROFILE AWARDD YEEEEe nice work THAT. you’re a champ.
ShlinkedIn Tribune
Here’s the cold hard truth: your employees all hate you. but with this guide, they won’t! read it here. send ur submissions to sam@shlinkedin.com
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wow. here we are. another day another dollar amirite. okay be best! drink water!
Best,
ShlinkedIn