Happy Monday. fun news i am once again sick. rough january! double fun news it is also my birthday. in honor of my birthday, please make the subject of your next email “Re: Cake URGENT.” Given my birthday sickness, i will be at best quarter-assing this week’s newsletter. i will be repeating bits shamelessly. i will be getting lazy. if you have any issues with that, please write a cordial note detailing said issues. roll the note up and place it in a tube of some kind. i will find it. thank you.
another fun thing: i am currently listening to good love 6-9-9-6-9 by isaac hayes and recommend you do the same while reading. it turns the whole thing into a very sexy and hot and funky experience. perhaps it will make up for my lack of energy.
if you don’t like the song or have issues with it, please write a cordial note detailing said issues. roll the note up and place it in a tube of some kind. i will find it. thank you.
trophies!!!
Social Climber: Baimler, baby! Been a hot second since baimler’s last social climber award. since august I think. what a funky and sexy return to the top.
In 2nd place, Nate “Big Toes” de Ath and his magical little (gigantic) toes. In 3rd, Donkey Dad Febrezeius and his magical little (gigantic) toes.
Other complaints rolled up in the tube of life: ugh i have a headache. and my throat hurts! my toes! they are so tiny! tiny with sickness! i feel funky and hot—but i think that’s the isaac hayes b/c i don’t have a fever.
hardest worker: right now it’s the pajama pants i’ve been wearing for two days. more generally though it’s bain.
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networking goblin: this goblin is good at networking!!! wooooo quilt bandersnatch. proud of you bud. <3 . sparse profile though everyone go make fun of him for that.
hottest profile: this profile is both hot and funky! like an isaac hayes song. yowza! it’s baimler!
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okay bye everyone
Best,
ShlinkedIn