Happy Monday! It’s May! Is that anything? Anyways. Hope everyone’s Meta real estate is appreciating in value.
Pointe du Boulet
Google’s headset is codenamed Project Iris which is creepy
Want to support shlinkedin and get some cool shit? shlinkedin platinum is the way. For those recent platinum subscribers, keep an eye on the email you used to subscribe we’ll be sending out some stuff!
the EU is accusing Apple of violating competition laws which would shock literally no one. *sent from my iphone 300*
TROPHY TIME
each week, all the best little business babies get trophies for their accomplishments. this is tied to both the relevant metrics, and an AI-powered qualitative judgement algorithm.
our social climber of the week: rrraksamam! A senior manager with a bad attitude, rraksamam is sort of a ‘bad boy’ in the world of regional software sales. He is kind, and he is judicious about when he sends out office-wide memos.
In 2nd place, platinum subscriber and general champion of the people Bain W. Kuang, returning to the post reactions leaderboard after some time. In 3rd, Doctor Evil, an absolute wizard when it comes to spreadsheets. And evil.
Other junior analyst devs sales reps stapler people: a wild Dan Price has appeared, and he would like a cookie for being a good CEO. You know what they say about Benjamin Buttons: I get older, they stay uh aging weirdly. Honored to have the Forbes “best person in the entire universe” Charles Talleyrand on the site. Chad “The Lambo” Burns is a community builder through and through.
MARKETING!!!!
want to be a great marketer? sell me this pen (by putting it on my fucking social media feed 7 times). or make ads for the shlinkedin market.
THE SHLINKEDIN TRIBUNE
couple submissions this week are being revised, so check back next week for more! and submit article ideas/drafts to sam@shlinkedin.com! do it! do it now! for glory! Peep this existing one here.
ShlinkNews: Yesterday’s News, Today.™
Twitter announces new 420 character tweet limit
5 Stocks that could go up or down
lol can someone make fun of the motley fool in a tribune article PLEASE
Congress vows to make Elon Musk pay $1 in taxes after Twitter purchase
Company realizes cutting employee pay results in higher profits
Why you should refer to your best friends as customers
Elon Musk discovers too late he could have used Twitter for free…
"I am also a billionaire!" claims some sad guy named Bill Gates
Avoid income taxes with this one simple trick: surgically attach an outboard motor to your waist so you are legally a yacht
Twitter employees being forced to buy Teslas and work from offices
Announcing Full Self Driving Twitter: Tweet While You Sleep
Emerging trend finds Gen X employees looking for a vibe in lieu of a career
Save money on PTO by redefining the "week" in employment contracts
okay, everyone. stay healthy, wealthy and wise or, alternatively, mildly unwell, poor, and discontent. Both are equally viable.
Best,
ShlinkedIn